Hilarious Daytona USA 2 Article

Posted by imelda sovzky on Thursday, February 9, 2012

Good Guy Rjay e-mailed me these a while back and I presume he wants me to post them so here we go.  This is from Dreamcast Magazine, Issue 6 (date some time in '99-'00).  Now this isn't a very long article and it doesn't really tell us anything we don't know but it's got some funny lines.  Stuff written in bold are quotes from the article.  Here goes:


FUNNY QUOTES:


* Fancy a quick spin around the race track?  Then strap yourself in and prepare for the ride of your life...and a touch of dizziness???

* Getting Dizzy With It

* It's not easy going, however, as you must navigate the track eight times without being rammed into the wall or, worse still, going cross-eyed with dizziness.

Who's getting dizzy while playing this?  Is this another "turn-left" NASCAR gag?  You spin me right round baby..

* With Daytona USA 2 Dreamcast-bound... BWAHAHAHA!!!  NICE CALL GUYS!!!  THANKS, SEGA!!!  Thanks for the laugh.

* Daytona USA 2 is the last game to be making the transition from coin-op to Dreamcast and is yet another beast of a game from Sega and its all-conquering AM2 department.  HAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHWA

* Daytona USA 2 might be 'just another racing game' to some, but to others it is a religion, with its high speed capers and dirty tactics and cutting up opponents.  I wouldn't call Daytona a religion...that would imply worship of false idols.  But it can change your way of life!

* Despite the fact that all Daytona USA 2 requires you to do is drive around in circles...  Who's writing this article?  Aren't there two other tracks in the game, neither of which resembles a NASCAR oval???

* ...offering all the thrills and spills of the real thing...without the threat of killing yourself.  Yes, because Daytona can drive you to suicide.  No, it's the exact opposite--IT LIFTS YOU UP WITH THE VITALITY OF A DOZEN 5-HOUR ENERGIES!!!  Without the tingling.

* The whole experience is made all the more realistic by the fantastic control offered by the steering wheel and the force feedback that is generated through it when skidding for ramming other cars.

* The speed is conveyed brilliantly, especially with the in-car views and the sound isn't bad either with a (words cut off) of engine revs, commentary, and music blasting in one ear and out the other, making the whole experience a veritable feast for the senses.

Compliments, lols

* Graphically, the game looks fantastic--much better than the original--with pop-up and other sinful entities banished to a far off land.  Banished to the far off land of Cruis'n World.

* This game will incite the boy racer from within everyone!  SPEEDY SPEED BOY!!!  We all wanted to be superheroes when we grew up.  I wanted to be a race car driver.  Suck it, Spiderman.

* In truth, Daytona USA 2 is much like Sega's alternative arcade Sega Rally 2 in regards to its gameplay and instant fix of speed and adrenaline--that that that's a bad thing.  No doubt Sega will include a greater number of cars, tracks, and modes for the Dreamcast version, much in the same way that Sega Rally 2 was beefed up for its home appearance.


* With this in mind, Daytona USA 2 could well be another Dreamcast success for the men from Sega, especially with a four-player mode...


* ...but for now we shall just have to wait and hope for the best...


Oh, right.  There's two more pages to go.


SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?  We were so impressed with Daytona USA 2, we went in search of other speed junkies to find out what they thought of Sega's top racing game... 

* Jonathon Eason the bank clerk: "I like it.  The controls are really good and it reacts well to the steering.  It gives a good sensation of speed too which is good." The other three guys (students) say pretty much the same thing.  So we unanimously agree that the controls & sense of steering are good, OK??


More user reviews:

* Jon Petty the occupational therapist: Hold on a second, you don't need a therapist when you got Daytona USA 2--that's all the therapy you need.

 * Nancy Davis the "carer": OMG, THERE'S GIRLS THAT PLAY DAYTONA!!!  WE MEN ARE NOT FOREVER ALONE!!!


 * Campbell Morrison the builder: He does one thing right and another thing wrong.  First, he only reviewer not to use the word "good."  Seriously, people, the blue-collar worker has a better understanding of the English language than you all.  Hello, here's a thesaurus of words describing Daytona USA 2: 

acceptable, ace, admirable, agreeable, bad, boss, bully, capital, choice, commendable, congenial, crack, deluxe, excellent, exceptional, favorable, first-class, first-rate, gnarly, gratifying, great, honorable, marvelous, neat, nice, pleasing, positive, precious, prime, rad, recherché, reputable, satisfactory, satisfying, select, shipshape, sound, spanking, splendid, sterling, stupendous, super, super-eminent, super-excellent, superb, superior, tip-top, up to snuff, valuable, welcome, wonderful, worthy.

Oh but then when asked if he would buy it for the Dreamcast, he replies "Probably not." 

AW HELL NAW, I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS...

Either that or he successfully predicted Sega's ineptitude on releasing the game.  You can't say you'll buy something that doesn't exist, can you?

Then the article ends on this:

IT'S NOT JUST A GAME.  That's right, Sega has done something rather special with Daytona USA 2 by linking up certain machines from around the world so that arcade fans can compete for a $1000 prize for posting the fastest time.  Rjay talks about this a lot.  It was who runs the fastest time on Beginner with the Scorpio AT.  Here are the records:

Top 10 UK Times: 2:16.366 to 2:17.929
vs.
Top 10 US Times: 2.17.660 to 2:19.310

So basically, the best US time barely beats the worst UK time.  It's great to know my fellow countrymen suck at racing games.  They are too busy playing Call of Duty and WoW to even give damn.  To quote:  Well, you'll be glad to hear that we're trouncing the Yanks, confirming us Brits as the kings of track.  Watch out for those Asians while you're at it.  Rofl.

Until then, if you got any unmentioned Daytona/Scud Race/other arcade material you want me to see, shoot me an email.  Adios.

{ 0 comments... read them below or add one }

Post a Comment